Wednesday, December 1, 2010

11 More Hours

There is a girl. She looks sad in her Christmas work shirt today. She keeps her hair around her ears because they are cold. She smiles at the customers as they pass, helping out a few lost ones.
She keeps her head down as she sweeps up another mess.
Customers, strangers notice her blank expression.
She's off work now. The girl with the long dark hair practically runs for the exit. She holds in the tears until she's in the safe zone, her car. She climbs across the passenger seat and begins to cry. She cries for the entire 22 minute drive home.
She doesn't know why she cries.
She just knows that she is completely exhausted.

Remember how I said I wasn't have many deep thoughts the other day?
Well that changed.

It wasn't so much deep thoughts but intense ones that decided to hurl themselves at my brain today.
You know how you begin to cry about one thing and then you just cry about everything? Well that's what happened.
I even cried about my broken car handle and the fact that my eat habits suck lately.


I was just so done at work today, I completely shut down.
Have you ever run yourself down so bad that you're sick for an entire week?
I did that twice this summer.
Well today I just exhausted myself and needed to cry.
I do need to quit. That's a fact. I'm not making a lot.
Another fact is, I can't quit until next year. I won't find a job right now and I could never leave them with no one to fill my spot.

Whew. I'm beginning to feel a bit better.
Two more days. 11 hours. Then I get one day off. I will savor Saturday and I will make it last AND I will do lots of Christmas-y things! :)

8 comments:

Adrian said...

I have those days too sometimes. They are no fun! But hopefully this weekend will make everythign better for you!

Chelsea said...

SSSSSSSSSSSS! Feel better! Here is a funny video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw

Laura Wynn said...

*cyber hug* Man, those days where just one thing sets you off..those are the worse. But.. just keep swimming, just keep swimming..swim, swim, swim. :)

Kaleena J. said...

Feel better!

I have these days too often. :( Today was even a little bit like this for me too, but not as bad.

HUGS.

Taylor said...

I hear you. "Stress" isn't enough to explain it, but sometimes when you become overwhelmed about things then a good cry is in order. I find myself that sometimes when I cry its a domino effect, I cry about the stupidest things to big, looming problems. I do not like the feeling of being stuck in a job I don't like. Just think of it this way: no one owns you! Only you. You are the master of your own fate; and sometimes you have to do what YOU need for yourself, even if that means screwing over a few co-workers. It will be forgotten and forgiven. But hey, if you don't do it, you don't. No matter what you are NOT the bad guy!

Young People in Love said...

Just found your blog...I SO RELATE TO THIS. Thanks for saying it so well :)

Annika said...

Me too I just found your blog and I really like it! I hope you feel better soon and find a job that makes you happy! I wish you all the best...

S said...

Thank you :)
I'm feeling better today, I think that crying is an excellent de-stressing tool.