Mixed Feelings

I had a nice dose of Kellan today; a repeat of Ellen was on :)

What a day.  My feelings were all over the place.

Anxious

Nervous

Shocked

Excited

Confused

Tired

Bored

Confused some more

Happy!

Bubbly

Happy again!

Confused. . .again

Content

A different word for happy

Tired

Bummed out.

and now I am relaxing.

That's a lot of feeling.  Surprisingly no anger.

You know what is confusing?  Boys.  Some boys. 

I was going to write that they should just say what's on their mind, get to the point but lately I haven't been able to do that with a certain boy.  He is pretty straight up, but I don't even think I've been speaking English when he's around.  People are going to end up thinking I have no depth. 

Oh well, soon I won't be able to shut up.

Holy smokes!  Can you believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve?  I almost forgot.

♥

Look What I Bought

Captivate by Carrie Jones.

I am stoked.

The only problem is I have to finish my stack of library books, I was going to add finish Shadowland by Alyson Noel as well, but I think I will just read that at the same time.  I'll have more time to read soon, which I am excited about.

I miss the days where I could read for hours, but when you get "old" you need to get a job.

I'm dying to spend at least half of a pay check on books and just avoid the library until I finish the bought books.

I love "The Breakfast Club".  It's on tv right now, I have no idea how many times I've seen it, but it never gets old.  Love Molly Ringwald, she's awesome.  Which reminds me: NEW "Secret Life of the American Teenager" soon & I believe "10 Things I Hate About You".

♥

Little Miss

It's not fun when you're feeling like crap.  I don't know why but I just feel down.

Anyways, I love the Little Miss books.  At the bookstore I always want to read them, but I would get in trouble.
They are so relatable though!  This is me in three books:

This is me most days.

I just thought this one was entertaining "Mr. Bump and the Knight". 

I am attempting to cheer myself up, so far painting my toe nails, cookies and even cupcakes haven't worked!

I may have the Swine Flu if I'm not even happy after eating a cupcake. 

♥

Stupid Feelings

Boys are confusing.
Yes, I, being a girl and all am confusing as well.  I even confuse myself sometimes.
I like to think of myself as a "get to the point" "straight up" kind of girl.  With most things I am, but when it comes to feelings, I suck. 
We carry all these feelings but I have no idea what to do with them.
When I'm angry I cry.
When I'm happy I. . .I don't know what I do.
When I'm bummed out I do nothing.

I have trouble loving people, I can't tell people how I feel (the deeper emotions), I don't know how to express sadness yet people say I look sad all the time.

I would like to just blurt out my feelings, but it's hard, plus you'd scare people off that way.

Lately I've been trying not to complain and whine (which is hard), I've been trying to ask people more questions about their personal life, but how do you do that without sounding like you're intruding.

Time to go sort through my brain while watching the Glee finale. 
Yes, I know I'm a week late!
♥

The Mall Is Nuts

I haven't had my daily dose of Kellan in awhile, I figured it was time.  Not the most flattering photo but I love his grin.
Sigh.
Kind of a strange day, actually everyday has been for the past month.
Awkwardness with someone's twin yesterday because I almost said Hi, but then hello! it was the twin, who I don't know.
I bought M&Ms and guess what, they are Mint!!  I have a thing for mint flavoured things (Junior Mints, M&Ms, cookies, candy canes etc.)
 
It is beginning to snow and my inner child is coming out to play and wants to dance around the parking lots at the mall.  Except I'd be sure to get hit by all the nutso Christmas shoppers.
Yesterday I got glared at no less than three times by other people almost ramming their shopping cart into me.  Pay attention please, thankyou.
Shoppers should also keep an eye on their kids, that is if they want to keep them which I'm sure they probably do, because hello your kids have little legs and can't walk as fast as you or you're just not paying any attention to them at all.  Sure that sweater is nice and all but don't you think your kid is cuter?

I practically ran out of the mall when I got there because it was so busy, but then I got the courage to go back in, it was like I needed to catch my breath or just figure out how I was going to handle being surrounded by all these people.  Then I reminded myself, dude remember Comic Con?  There were tons more people.  Got it, I can do this.  Don't you love the conversations that go on in your head?  Or is that just me?

By the way being at the mall during the holidays is the perfect time to boy watch.  There were plently of good looking guys in stock yesterday.  I preferred the dude with the lip ring myself, but that's just me :)

Have a wonderful night/morning.  Geez it's almost midnight.
♥

Library Day + 2

I didn't mean to get books, I swear.  I was actually dropping some books off and then just happened to wander over to the YA section and found five, thick, books that I've been dying to read.

"Getting the Girl" by Susan Juby

I don't normally read from a guy's perspective, so I was expecting to not like it. 

This kid, Sherman, is awesome.  He's like this nerdy little ninth grader but somehow becomes a" Mack Daddy".  I was expecting it to be a love story kind of book but then there was this whole "defiling" thing.  Read it.  It's excellent.

"Black Rabbit Summer" by Kevin Brooks.

I haven't started this one yet, busybusybusy.  But I am hoping to in the next few days.

"Faery Rebels" by R.J. Anderson.

"Daughters of the Sea: Girl in the Shadows" byKathryn Lasky.

So this is a trilogy I believe about three sisters who are mermaids and the books go on to tell their stories.

The first book is about Hannah.

"Going Bovine" by Libba Bray.

Holy crap, it's very possible I jumped for joy when I saw this was in.  Seriously.  I've been wanting to read it but I was being cheap and wouldn't buy it.  I should buy it.  I'm on chapter three and have already laughed out loud in the first few pages of chapter one.

I also know two books I get for Christmas :)  I got to pick them out.  I almost passed out when my Mom said pick some books.  I couldn't decide so I only picked two.  Overwhelming.

Other than that I have been up to nothing.  Except for being a girl and creating boy drama in my head that isn't really real.  Confused?

Too bad, I'm not going into it.

I am just being a lame girl and analyzing, thinking, swooning, boring stuff.

Love Yourself

Recently I've discovered that I finally like who I've become.
I wasn't going to post about this but Lauren over at busybeelauren inspired me to write it out.

What do I best?  Making lists.

1.  I am fine with my loner status (most of the time)
2. I like the weird food combinations I eat
3. I like that I am a sugar freak
4. I love my body and take care of it.
5. I like that I've gone to a movie alone and I hope to do it again.
6. I love the music I listen to, even if other people don't.
7.  I love that I love to read.
8. I love that I love to eat
9. I love my pleather jacket even though I've been made fun for it.
10. I like my unusual humour no one else gets most of the time.
11. I love my water ski sized feet
12. I like being the weird, pale, loner girl.

I like who I've become, it took me awhile to get here to this place of being comfortable with myself and who I am but now that I'm here I don't want to ever lose it. 

Take the time to think of the good aspects of yourself, not the bad ones.  You'll feel better. 

Read a book that makes you happy even if you have to skip to your favourite part, listen to your favourite music, eat your favourite food, dress up in your favourite outfit even if it is grunge (Who cares?!), do something nice for yourself today.
Or if you need to, just have a good cry. 

What makes me happy today is making cupcakes and eating a trifle. :)
♥

Blue Eyed Boy: New and Improved

Aww look I went all Christmasey. I don't even know the correct spelling for that made up word.
I have a few problems, well not technically. They're those imaginary problems girls make up.
Like the fact I can't stop thinking about Blank, or a boy I saw once in the summer. I met a boy, kind of, the other day and he was kind enough to tell me he was eighteen (random) and I can't stop thinking of his water blue eyes.
You know how those blue eyes get me. Well these ones were bad, as in good, and I practically drowned in them.
He is the NEW and Improved Blue Eyed Boy. No more theater blue eyed boy.
I think I have just crossed a psychotic line
I think it's going to snow soon.
That would be my attempt at a changing the subject.
Music.
Songs I'm continually listening to lately:

"Tik Tok" by Kee$ha
"Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble.
"Halo" by Beyonce (I normally don't like Beyonce)
"Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
"Starstrukk" by 3OH!3
"No Air" by Glee Cast (Have you been watching Glee? Love.)
"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga (I just cant get those Ra-Ras out of my head)
Throw Ya Hand Up by Stereos (Stuck in my head, all the time.)

Whoops I pressed the button that I dont know how to fix again.  If anyone reads this and knows how to fix that, please let me know :)  Thanks.
♥

Coffeehouse Angel

I get to do a library run tomorrow!
So I just finished reading  "The Coffeehouse Angel" by Suzanne Selfors
I really loved it.  You'll like the whole friendship love thing too.  When you read a certain sentence in it you think "Oh great, it says that but what's really going to happen is...."
I personally thought that the book wasn't that predictable, which I love.  I like opening my mouth in shock when I'm reading, or laughing out loud, because rare.

Next up is to finish "Shadowlands" by Alyson Noel
♥

Contemplating

I'm still contemplating getting rid of this thing that people call a "blog". 
Sure I'll still keep my account so I can still follow the tons of blogs I read, but writing this is just. . . .No that's not it, it's that I am so utterly boring.
I promised no more Twilight posting, didn't I?  I am keeping to that promise and with that I haven't been blogging.  How lame is that?
It's just I don't want to use this to complain about how tired I am, or something I did at work because that is just, no.
No one wants to read that.  No one wants to read about the five zits growing on my face this very second. 

See?
It's boring.
And with one of my shortest blogs posts ever, I say goodnight.
♥